If you want to lose weight and don’t blog about it, does anybody care?

A year ago I got married. It was a long time coming (10 years of dating) and it was amazing. The year leading up to it, however, was full of turmoil. We moved from Chicago to Montana and were in major flux all year while we looked for our first house to buy, dealt with illnesses on both sides, got a dog, and got ready for a big ass wedding. During that time I also ended a remote job and started a full-time office job here. Our schedules mostly revolved around the dog’s exercise and training, not working out, at least for me. The stress of the wedding and craziness meant I lost a lot of weight. I’m not sure how much, but probably 30 pounds. I wasn’t weighing myself. I was just trying on my wedding dress every month or so to make sure it still fit. I needed it to fit.

Come our wedding day, it did indeed fit, but I’d barely been eating for about a month. Two bites of anything was enough to fill me up. Sounds great, right? Not really. The second the wedding was over, and the stress lifted, my appetite came back. I ate. Not a crazy amount…not like stuff your face full of nachos all day amount…but more than I’d been nibbling on for months. I was eating like a normal person. I turned 40 in January. It got dark and cold. That, paired with snacks at work and a winter that brought an insane amount of snow and ice to the streets that they don’t plow here, meant that I gained weight over the winter. A lot of weight. I kept on gaining weight as work got stressfull last fall. I had to buy bigger jeans. I had to almost buy two sizes bigger than my current size. It wasn’t fun. I cried a lot.

I went to the doctor for something unrelated (some skin something, I think) and the scale blew me away. For the first time in my life, I weighed 200 pounds. 203 to be exact. I was shocked. I’m 5’8″ tall, which means over 195, my BMI says “obese” by the WHO standards (other standards just say “moderately overweight“). Still, doesn’t make me feel good. I decided I needed to change, but for the past year, I’ve literally been at an impasse about what diet/workout is “right” for me now. Do I want to go back to running/training for races? Do I want to try Crossfit again? Do I need a “thing” and if so, what’s my “thing” now? And the bigger elephant in the room: Could I even begin to lose the weight now that I’m 40 years old? 

Then the bottom fell out in mid September…at I got motivated. I got laid off from work. Suddenly I have freetime while I freelance and look for my next gig. So two weeks in, I’ve been trying to go with a friend to the gym (that I already pay for anyway) for a 45-minute circuit workout class twice a week, with a possible Friday bootcamp class, too. I also started running with the dog, since he’s old enough to handle some structured exercise like a slow jog with mama. I’m aiming to run twice a week T/Th. Right now, it’s a stop/start 2-mile circuit. I think I’ll try to get ready for the Turkey Trot 5K at Thanksgiving. Seems reasonable anyway.

My IT band flares still. Brought on from too much sitting at work, my glutes get tired and stiff while I run. I got a cramp from situps yesterday. I stop and stretch and then keep going. The dog wants to run. He gets tired after but his energy is always high while we go. He’s barely trotting because I run so slowly. Sometimes he helps pull me up hills.

So this goes to my thoughts this morning. Should I blog about trying to lose weight. Would anyone read it? Do you care? Do I care? Would logging this time in my life keep me motivated or responsible? Maybe.

So here goes.

Day 1 (or thereabouts):

Weight: 199.3 lbs.

BMI: 30

Activity for the day: 2.5 mile jog with the dog.

Healthy food of note: Oven-roasted tomatoes from the garden for homemade pasta sauce.